Held by God

My housemates and I had a “secret Santa” exchange last night. My present made me smile pretty big since my secret Santa knows me well – Steve Bell cd and dvd, with chord charts printed out. Could a gift get any better than that? So surprise, surprise, a Steve Bell song has struck me and I am going to write about it 🙂

This is always a tough time of year for me. And as much as I try to make it a happier, jollier time, I struggle against the war of depression (I just typed out by accident “the wart of depression” – interestingly, I think that quite aptly describes it! A thorn in my side that won’t go away). This year, I am disappointed to be struggling again as I know that I hurt those who love me last year through my careless outlook on life and also I have done so much work this year to move past the issues that stood before me last year. And I have come a long way and give thanks for that. I think living in community has been a huge healing peace for me. Despite a couple of tough days this weekend, my housemates and I were able to laugh and have fun together while baking, consuming alcohol and watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

A lot of my weekend though was spent wrestling with tough issues and crying out to God to simply hold me and comfort me in my pain. Anyways, last night I started listening to the Steve Bell song “He will know”. I will leave you with these lyrics as they speak beautifully for themselves. I felt held by the Lord as I heard this song. Thanks be to God.

When your heart is in despair, He will know/ When you feel beyond repair, He will know/ When your day is filled with tears, He will hear/ When your night is filled with fear, He will hear. When this world leaves you behind, he will know/ When it all seems so unkind, He will know.

He will know, He will know, He will know.

-Steve Bell, He will know

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