Home > Healing Journey, The Call to Speak out > a mother’s worst nightmare

a mother’s worst nightmare

I’ve sat in many groups, both in this program and in other groups, and one of women who have been abused’s biggest concern is that something will happen to their child. Some women have gone their whole life longing for a child, but too afraid to bring one into the world. This is a fear of mine, and while I am building a growing trust with many good men and there is healing in my life, I can’t help but wonder – can you ever trust your husband completely after you know what can happen behind closed doors?

I remember as we were all grappling with this topic, one of the facilitators pointed out that it is practically impossible to completely protect your child from being abused. You can’t be with her/him every moment of the day – and even if you were, your child could be scarred because of your smothering. There are just too many people out in the world who could have access with your child. Being smart about who your child spends time with is essential, but worrying incessantly isn’t going to help anyone. She then gave some really helpful advice. She said, “you can’t prevent abuse completely. But you can work on yourself so that if heaven forbid your child discloses to you, you are in a place to respond lovingly and believe the child and get them help right away.” Studies have shown that the mother’s response is absolutely vital to how healing goes. Moreover, if a child is believed, loved, and protected, their healing journey will be less rocky.

I’ve been connecting with survivors all around the world these days. I found this blog post from a mother’s perspective to be helpful just generally but also in giving me hope that there are mothers out there who are strong enough to choose their daughter and believe her even if it means a rocky relationship with  her beloved husband at best.


a mother’s worst nightmare: the incest of her child.

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