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The Passage of Time

I remember when I was younger and time would go so slowly. I remember waiting for Christmas, my birthday. summer holidays and they always seem to take forever. I remember longing to be an adult yet with no understanding whatsoever of what it means to be an adult. I remember being small and my grandpa needing a  bit of quiet from me and offered me $5 if I could stay quiet for 30 minutes. Miraculously I did (remember – $5 was a lot in those days!). But I remember it feeling like an eternity as I watched the clock tick.

In some ways, leaving home over 8 years ago seems like an eternity ago. In other ways it seems like yesterday. A lot’s happened in 8 years. I saw pictures recently of my baby sister who turned 8 yesterday. And of my baby brother who I have never met. Whenever I think of him, I think he was born a couple of years ago…. I’ve been saying this every year and it took me by surprise to see pictures of a young boy and not some little toddler. I’ve changed in 8 years too – I am not the young girl I used to be.

My mom’s birthday was on the 1st. I think birthdays and other annual events mark the passage of time. This week is birthday week for my family and I try to picture them as they are now in their lives. I try to think of what they do for their birthdays or what they like to do for fun. I know they win awards for their musical talents and I try to imagine them playing the various instruments or singing.

Time passes. People change.

I can’t stop that. I can’t fast forward to a time when my family is in my life. I can’t erase the past. I think so much of my life has been chained to time – events in the past that drag me down and haunt me, fear of the future, or living with my eggs all in one basket for reconciliation.

But I am learning that I can enjoy this moment. I can live in the right here and right now. I can sit with the feelings that are in reaction to what is presently going on, whether that is joy or sadness or anger. I can rest in the knowledge that God is right here, right now. I need not think about yesterday or tomorrow – but I can simply enjoy right now.

Time is precious. The present moment will not last forever.

If I can share one thing I’ve learned these past few months, this would be it – enjoy right now. Laugh. Hug someone. Stare at the stars. Snuggle your cat. Read a book. Pray.

A running joke amongst friends has to do with the Praise and Worship song “I can sing of your love forever”. One friend used those word magnets to write “I can sing of your love for a moment”. I remember thinking that this was a more accurate depiction of us feeble human beings who are so easily distracted and fail to rely solely on the love of God.

But maybe that is it – maybe we are to simply sing of God’s love for a moment.

And then the next moment.

And the one after that.

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