Home > Healing Journey, Lessons in School > Gifts amid the wounding

Gifts amid the wounding

Last night, I handed in a research paper on how childhood trauma changes the developing brain. Fascinating topic – and definitely one that needs more research as there isn’t much. I loved every minute of researching – and trying to understand complex physiological functions in order to write a clear and concise account. The past few days I have also been working on a research proposal looking at Kony’s Lord’s Resistance Army in Uganda and probably most likely focusing on the cult-ish component and spirit possession, though I have not entirely decided yet. While the original book I read for this proposal was horrific to read and left me in tears at the end of each chapter, the rest of the research is fascinating and opening up all sorts of questions that I want to explore.

As I was walking to school today, I kept thinking about how much I LOVE research.

I’ve decided that I am very sick of undergraduate courses. Being 10 years older than most of my fellow students, I have a totally different perspective and approach to studies. Plus I know what I want to research in my masters and PhD. I can’t wait until I can devote my time to research.

My happiest days are when I can just read and read and write and write.

yes, I am a nerd. but I love research.

In psychology, there is an age-old debate over how much nature (e.g. genes) vs nurture (e.g. environment) contribute to who a person is. I think I am built to be a perpetual student – I have that desire to read and research and when I talk to other students who don’t have that desire to the extent I do, I am perplexed, as if I am talking to an entirely different species!

But nurture has also played a significant role.

My step-father was a researcher. He taught me to write. He encouraged the researcher in me.

I’ve said it before, many times in fact, but I don’t believe that there are evil people. We are people who do evil things. And as such, we are also people that have done good things. Loving things. Inspiring things even.

Today is my step-father’s birthday.

He wounded me deeply. And my life was irreversibly changed the moment he chose to violate me. The loss, the pain, the scars are huge.

But he also gave me some gifts – the love of research being one.

So today, in honour of his birthday, I thank God for the gifts he has given me.

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  1. Barb
    November 22, 2012 at 12:42 am

    And I thank God that you are the person you have become. You have such a big heart. You have much to contribute to this world. I can’t wait see how your life unfolds. I think your Masters thesis will be very interesting to read. God bless you Elizabeth.

  2. Meagan
    November 28, 2012 at 6:09 pm

    You are amazing my friend! Blessing to you as you continue to walk this difficult journey! You are so loved!!

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