Home > Uncategorized > You’ve come a long way, baby

You’ve come a long way, baby

When you live with the mire and grind of this life, it’s sometimes easy to lose hold of how far one has come. Every once in awhile, I get a glimpse. This weekend had moments as such.

I babysat for some dear friends of mine. Their eldest boy who is 5 has had open heart surgeries, stroke, and huge challenges. This kid is my hero. I have prayed for him for over five years and I’ve heard my friends’ struggles with the challenges, particularly around speech. Now I hadn’t seen him for a while – and I had my first conversation with him. This kid has a wicked sense of humour. My favourite moment was when we were watching Disney TV before bed. we caught the end of a cartoon. And then a show with princesses turned on. J. said to me “you will like this one.” I asked him why? He smiled, “princesses”. I was just blown away by how smart and funny this boy is and how much he has grown and changed. It is truly amazing.

But I also saw a glimpse into how far I have come. My friends have seen me through so much… leaving home and all the drama around that, attempts at family counseling, a gruelling trial and all my ups and downs and struggles as I’ve tried to heal and at times given up on healing. I felt so much joy in being able to tell them that life is good, that I am happy, that I love God more than I ever thought was possible and that I am discerning where God is calling me. I left noting the self-confidence I have and the comfort with who I am – from the eyebrow piercing to sitting in the not-knowing of where exactly God is leading me, but absolutely sure that God is here.

Then yesterday, I was meeting a good friend at my old church and bumped into the rector who has known indirectly my struggles over the years. And I was able to tell him that I am well and loving life and where I’m leaning in my discernment.

The past 8 years have been rocky. They have held many challenges.

But I know beyond any doubt that I am utterly loved by God and that he is here with me. And I love him. And there is a joy and peace that I cannot contain as i seek to follow him and strive to do his will.

A year ago, I chose a Greek word for my writing pseudonym – “Achimah”. It means “God raises up”. And I have seen that manifested in my life – God has raised me up from the pit, out of the miry clay. My first name – Elizabeth – means consecrated to God – and I see how God has taken me and protected me and called me forth. And the name Aine, a Gaelic word for joy and radiance, is a name I will be taking on as I live into the joy that Christ has given me.

I’ve come a long way.

Thanks be to God.

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