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Even youths grow weary

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Even youths grow weary.

Today I handed in my paper – 6500 words articulating how the cross provides hope for the “sinned-against”. Basically, this was a working out of my questions and thoughts over the past 8 years, trying to understand justice, healing, peace, mercy, and where God fits into all of this. I’m not going to post it on here because it’s 20 pages long and I doubt anyone will take the time to read it on here. Also, I wasn’t able to find another author who articulated the argument in a similar manner so maybe when all is said and done, I’ll tidy it up a bit and submit it somewhere. Maybe. My professor might tear it to shreds and say its crap and then I might think otherwise.

For the same class, we had a communal exam which sounds scary than what it actually was. Over red wine, chocolate, cheese and Malaysian pork dish, we had a “Celebration of Learning” in which we each had five minutes to answer a particular question that our professor directed our way. If ever I were to teach a course, I would organize a similar practice as the amount of learning from each other and the act of summing up a little of what I have learned is definitely a way to make this course impact me not just this term, but beyond.

But now, I am weary. I’m tired. I’ve been sick with a bad flu/cold for two weeks now and with sleep deprivation it’s not really letting up.

I am reminded of the verse in Isaiah that I am currently too lazy to look up that even youths grow weary.

But I am also reminded of the rest of the verse – that those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength.

You know, I pray these days…. a lot. Often it is “Lord, have mercy” or “God help me” as I don’t know what else to pray. I don’t feel any stronger. I don’t feel any less tired. My nose is still running a marathon.

But – amazingly, and by God’s grace – things are falling into place despite my weariness. I’ve been granted an extension for a major research paper (Which seems quite small considering the other one!!!) and a doctor’s note that I can use for my other courses if need be.

I am weary. But it doesn’t seem to matter – God’s grace is stronger. I have to trust that somehow he is in all of this and that he is here with me. The proof is all around me. He works while I sleep, and when I am too sleepy to work.

Even youths grow weary

But God does not.

I am thankful for this.

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