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Make me believe



Last Sunday, the kids and I looked at the story of doubting Thomas. I began our discussion with talking about things that we believe on faith – things that we know to be true but don’t see it or have proof. We talked about how we believe in ‘wind’ because we see what it does, that we believe that the air has oxygen in it because scientists have discovered it and we believe that there are people living in Australia even though none of us knew anyone there or had visited. We also talked about how there are things we know to be false even though we don’t have any proof. For example, i couldn’t convince these astute kids that there are igloos in Egypt or that Aliens were taking over the world. The point of this exercise that led to many giggles was to talk about how there are things we know to be true without needing to prove they are true.

After talking about doubting Thomas and how Christ met him where he was at, we talked about our own doubts in the stories that are handed down to us. The kids found Jesus’ miraculous healings to be among some of the hardest things to believe. We then went to draw something in our discussion that stood out to us.

The above picture was drawn by one youngster. It is a picture of people being healed by Jesus. He told me he was done and I asked if there was something he wanted to write on the page to help him remember what we talked about today. He asked if he could write a prayer.

His prayer: Make me believe.

I sat there with a huge smile just enjoying the precious moment.

All week, I’ve had this picture and this simple prayer on my mind. The youth program I’m running is quite exciting – but my to do list is multiplying at a faster rate than it is decreasing. And, as I’ve mentioned on here before, I wonder if I can do it.

I’m waiting to hear if I got accepted into the graduate program I’ve applied for. And doubts, many doubts arise. I can’t help but ask what if I don’t get in?

Opportunities are opening up and I bounce between feeling confident and wondering if I’m really capable of what others think I am.

I wonder about my future – will I be able to find a job that is fulfilling post graduation? Can I really find a partner who will walk the journey of this life with me? As I was taking care of the little boy I babysit, I started wondering if I am really capable of being a mother?

So many questions, doubts, fears. I seem to have trouble believing that God takes care of me and that he has my life under his sovereignty. I seem to think I have to take care of everything because God may not. I easily slip into thinking that everything depends on me. I worry that I am not up to the task that God has called me to do and forget that he is with me.

The young boy’s prayer – make me believe – is mine tonight. Make me believe Lord that you have everything in your hands and that you love beyond what I can imagine. Make me believe that you are trustworthy. Make me believe that I can do all things that you have called me to through Christ who strengthens me.

  1. Christina
    April 22, 2013 at 2:01 pm

    I love it!

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