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Be still

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Tonight I fly out to Victoria, B.C. to spend some time with some very good friends of mine. And then I will be journeying through the mountains and visiting relatives before I return home.

In some ways, skipping town is very easy. Who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by ocean and mountains, drinking wine and conversations with some of your best friends, and reading books just for fun?

In other ways it is a challenge. The summer program we are launching will go on hold in some ways for two weeks. Two weeks may not seem like a long time. But given that we are trying to get things up and running and I’ve made connections with the neighbourhood, two weeks is a long time. Yesterday, I spent 9 hours at church tying up loose ends and making sure that everything is left as I want it. I’ve worked hard to get all my ideas on paper (or the website) so that this program could happen without me.

But as I step onto the airplane tonight, I must let go and trust God.

It’s not easy – this is my baby! I’ve invested so much time into it and the pressure I feel to be successful is high. So many questions run through my mind – should I really be leaving for two weeks in the midst of all that we are doing?

there is a lot of work still to do. I’ve done an awful lot. But there is more. However, truth be told – even if I stayed and worked the next two weeks, there’s more work to be done than time. In some ways, the work is unending. There is always an email that could be sent, a phone call to be made, a workshop to organize, contacts to be made. I could work round the clock and still never be “done”.

A few people have cautioned me about the amount of time and speed that I am diving into this project. It’s easier said than done when ideas come in the wee hours of the morning. But one of the things that I am realizing is that I have to take breaks. There will always be tons to do. I Have no trouble filling my time. I recently took a complete day off where I didn’t do any work. Mostly slept out of sheer exhaustion.

Amazingly, the world didn’t stop. My summer project didn’t crash. My friends going through a rough time are still there. Life goes on. Humbling – how often do I plough through life as if everything depended on me? As if I’m this giant of faith?

There’s a picture on my piano that quotes Psalm 46:10 – “Be still and know that I am God.” I pray that this time will be one in which I can be still – truly still – and come to know in deeper ways who God is.

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